Honest feelings on secrets

Is keeping secrets wrong? And does it need to be qualified, "what secret? from whom?" before you can answer the question?

Secrets are borne of many things - embarrassment, guilt, concern for another's feelings, concern for your own reputation. I guess it could be argued that some secrets are petty and it is silly to spend the energy keeping them. However who are you, (who am I for that matter) to decide what it petty and what is significant for someone else? Shouldn't we have the tolerance and feign understand enough to allow someone else to keep any secret they choose? There is so much judgment and condescension in this life that I don't blame anyone for keeping any secret they choose!

Of course this whole post is a direct reflection of my own life and the fact that I keep secrets. I keep big secrets and little secrets, but depending on who you are in my life, I keep no secrets. But to be honest, I think you would be hard pressed to find someone who doesn't keep any secrets. Secrets are what help us to remain a little isolated and a little independent when it feels like everyone around us has advice on something.

I would argue that having secrets actually makes other aspect of your life that much more transparent. I refrain from using the word honest because the fact that you keep a secret does not make you less honest. To be lacking in honesty is to tell lies; to keep a secret is to remain quiet.

Secrets would not be so necessary if people actually wanted to hear everything all the time. I leave you with this question...When you say, "I rather you tell me everything, even if you think it might hurt me. There is nothing you can say that would make me love you less." You need to think long and hard if you truly mean it. If you don't, telling someone that and then turning your back on them is more cruel then them keeping the secret in the first place.